The Partner's Guide

You've been given a lot of information about what she's going through. Almost none about what you're supposed to do.

This is for the person who will be in the room and has no idea what their job is.

It doesn't explain labor in medical terms — she has that covered, and you can look it up. It covers the part nobody tells you: what to do with your hands, what to say, what not to say, and how to ask a question in a hospital room without it turning into an argument.

There's a chapter on early labor, which is mostly waiting, and waiting is a skill. There's a short list of things not to say, learned from rooms where it went wrong. There's a chapter on cesareans to read whether or not one is planned, because the people who cope best with one are the ones who thought about it once, early, on a calm afternoon.

And there's a page for how you are doing, because nobody is going to ask.

What’s inside

• The Long Beginning — early labor, the call, the car, and arriving
• The Work — your hands, what to say, what not to say
• When Decisions Come Up — asking questions, when things take a different route, cesareans
• Afterwards — the first hour, the first week, and how you are doing
• What We Agreed — a page to fill in together, out loud, before 37 weeks

Good for

Partners, mothers, sisters, best friends — anyone who said yes to being there and then realised they didn't know what that meant.